t

Quotes T

It should be a very happy marriage--they are both so much in love with him.
--Irene Thomas

I stopped believing in Santa Claus at age six when my mother took me to see him in a store and he asked for my autograph.
--Shirley Temple

I studied men and adapted myself to their world. I tried to emulate them. Eventually, I realized that I didn't have to "become" a man to be powerful.
--Twyla Tharp

We do as much, we eat as much, we want as much.
--Sojourner Truth

From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents, from eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks, from thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality and from fifty-five on she needs cash.
--Sophie Tucker

I want to be more than a rose in my husband's lapel.
--Margaret Trudeau

You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the Holocaust, you can ban the bomb in a feather boa just as well without, and a mild interest in hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word of it.
--Jill Tweedie

I always find that statistics are hard to swallow and impossible to digest. The only one I can ever remember is that if all the people who go to sleep in church were laid end to end they would be a lot more comfortable.
--Mrs. Robert A. Taft

Birth control is philosophically a good thing.

. . . putting leather spheroids through hoops.

My first impression of Cam was made on that couch.

I was a cabbage. She was a cactus. It was doomed.
--Brad Timmers

When angry, count to four, when very angry, swear.

The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.

Clothes make the man, naked people have little or no influence in society.
--Mark Twain

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
--Kelvin Throop, III

No man is responsible for his father. That was entirely his mother's affair.
--Margaret Turnbull

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
--James Thurber

We were told our campaign wasn't sufficiently slick. We regard that as a compliment.
--Margaret Thatcher, 1987

I got an "A" in philosophy because I proved that my professor didn't exist.

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

What ever happened to the kind of love leech that lived in his car and dropped by once a month to throw up and use your shower? Now all these pigs want is a commitment.

Dr. Ruth came up to me and said, "Judy, I'm a sex therapist." Yeah, well, I would be too if I came up to everyone's belt buckle.

Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide.
--Judy Tenuta

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

If you read a lot of books, you're well read, but if you watch a lot of TV you're not well viewed.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzac may be thinking up something else.

Reality is a crutch for those who can't cope with drugs.

Man invented language to stisfy his deep need to complain.
--Lily Tomlin

Reality is a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
--Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the Operator

I know there are some nights when I have power, when I could put on something and walk in somewhere, and if there is a man who doesn't look at me, it's because he's gay.
--Kathleen Turner

You're not very smart. I like that in a man.
--Kathleen Turner, Body Heat

Never economize on luxuries.
--Angela Thirkell

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
--Hunter Thompson

When they came for the vowels, I kept quiet because I wasn't a vowel. Then they came for the fricatives, and I kept quiet because I wasn't a fricative. And when they came for the rest of the sounds, it was too late for anything but silence....
-- => Toon (belated but still fervent)

Something was right with the world when having sex against a pillar counted as behaving.
--Te, "Post Grad"

I doubt that anyone ever said, "Homosexuality is so much cleaner than heterosexuality. The nightclubs are more lively. Homosexuals like the rainbow. The rainbow is cool. I like what they stand for. Rock Hudson believed in homosexuality. He was cool. So I guess I'll be a homosexual. It just makes more sense." It is not a belief.

Perhaps our issue is the inverse. (Or is it the converse? Or perhaps the Nike or the Reebok?)
--L. Scott Tillett

I just got a horrid image of a barking dictionary.
--Triana

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